I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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