Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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