hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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