It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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