He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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