mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
