her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
