Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
