Someone shit on the floor
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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