There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
