I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
