"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
