Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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