Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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