the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
