im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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