i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
the raccoons are back...
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