His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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