WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
