You really coming over, don't trick.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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