Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
