is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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