can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
