there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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