You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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