Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
