God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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