Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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