Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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