I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
