i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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