grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
