I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
3pm strippers are depressing
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
