You really coming over, don't trick.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
