love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
