The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
