so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
