U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
