I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
