I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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