I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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