I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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