I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No subtext here. People are naked.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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