I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
