Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
