what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
