just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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