just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
