trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You ruined the universe
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
