The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
