My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
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