What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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