So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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