69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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