thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Is it because I queefed?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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