Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
