I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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