guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
