So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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