I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
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