Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this will be a night to untag.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
