at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
